All humans are hardwired for survival, which means we are unconsciously driven towards opportunities for connection, resource accumulation, and striving to be the fittest of the pack. We are all prone to screen our environment and relationships for threats to our survival, resources, relationships, and self-esteem. We are motivated to find our purpose in life and reach our highest potential (aka self-actualization), but this motivation can be stunted by events such as criticism or doubt from others both early and later on in life. When this occurs, our system interprets this as a threat to our survival, which leads to a mobilization or immobilization response based on the degree of criticism. We are left feeling an even greater drive towards accumulating, working harder, or proving ourselves. This hardwiring makes us prone to negative thinking, social comparisons, and anticipating risks.

We retain memories for threatening experiences to inform our future actions. When a threat is detected, we feel stress, which can mobilize or immobilize us (fight, flight, freeze) for action depending on what might be the most adaptive in the moment. Moderate amounts of stress motivates us towards getting our needs met. Modern life, however, is characterized by chronic stress and has interfered with our ability to recover post-stressful experiences. Additionally, our highly sophisticated brains allow us to retain memories for past pain and suffering. This has advantaged us as survival creatures, but it contributes to psychological suffering when we spend time reviewing painful past experiences over and over again. When a threat is detected, we draw upon coping strategies that worked in the past or that we observed our families using as we grew up. We are also drawn to coping strategies that provide the quickest relief, especially if we are facing significant stress. Our conscious effort will be required to interrupt undesirable habitual coping behaviours and replace them with more adaptive strategies.